


Seeking Comfort

by docmatthew



Category: Longmire (TV), Walt Longmire Mysteries - Craig Johnson
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, a bit of angst, then a lot of just cute fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 12:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8248498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/docmatthew/pseuds/docmatthew
Summary: *Season Five Spoilers*
The night of the the PJ Wright incident Cady is left alone but she really needs someone to be there with her as she processes everything that happened.





	

**Author's Note:**

> S/O to Bene (the_widow_twankey), as always, for fucking getting me through the What Would Jacob Wear In This Situation crisis. I want to make it clear that in this fic Jacob genuinely cares for Cady and wants to help her. He's not playing her, he's not playing Walt. He just cares about her. Equally, I do want it to be clear Cady's not going after Jacob for The Daddy Issues. Just so we are all clear on this. Put a little spin on Jacob's backstory because I needed it and because it fits tbh.
> 
> Also look at me! Writing something outside of the Walt/Henry spectrum and on top of that it's a straight fic. Those are rare for me. lol. This isn't 100% my best work but I'll do better next time.

The front door closed and Cady closed her eyes. There was never a moment in her life that she wondered ‘what would Dad do if I killed someone?’ Never had she ever wondered what his response would be to such a thing but now that she had seen it she never could have imagined it. He was so self-centered and fixed on Jacob. He had barely asked how she was, didn’t ask if she wanted to talk through it. He didn’t support her in any way except drive her home and make her a cup of tea. She turned over in the bed and stared at the cup of tea that she didn’t want.

Jacob had sent a lawyer. Jacob had asked if she was okay. Jacob…

Cady closed her eyes tightly and held back the tears that threatened to spill over. She had killed a man. She took a life. It was in self-defense but that didn’t take away the seriousness of the situation. Cady Longmire wasn’t someone who could or would judge life or death. She never wanted the power to end someone’s life yet she had pulled the trigger with little hesitation. Her mind kept trying to tell her that she had also saved two lives. Hers and Asha’s life.

Quickly she stood up and grabbed the tea. It was just staring at her with unfulfilled expectations. The kitchen was so quiet as she threw the mug into the sink. Of course it broke. A heavy sigh was won from Cady as she started picking up the broken pieces. As if the night wasn’t already bad enough but she cut her hand on one of the jagged edges.

“Damn it.” She hissed as she grabbed her hand.

The blood poured from her palm and she felt her breath hitch in her chest. The sight of blood brought everything back. She grabbed the paper towels and hastily put them over the cut to soak up the blood before hurrying into the bathroom. With one shaky hand she cleaned the wound and bandaged it. The blood made a dark spot on the bandage and she sat on the edge of the tub to catch her breath.

Even though she had asked her dad to leave because she wanted to be alone...well, that couldn’t be further from the truth. She wanted someone, she wanted comfort that had been absent since the bullet had left the chamber. Anxiety start to rise in his chest and she could feel her breathing become shallow and uneven. Her hands gripped the edge of the tub with all her strength as she tried to keep herself from going into full blown hyperventilation.

Before she realized it her phone was in her hand and she was pulling up a number. She didn’t realize who she was calling until they answered the phone.

“Cady?” Jacob’s voice fluttered over the speaker.

“Jacob.” She could hear her own voice breaking.

“I would ask if everything is alright but obviously it is not.” Jacob sounded concerned, he sounded worried and that made Cady feel better. “Kevin told me after he left. Said you have a strong defense and that you had been released from the Tribal Police.”

“I-I was.” Cady swallowed thickly and willed her voice to stop breaking.

“He also said that your father came and took you home. Did you make it home safe, Cady?” Jacob’s voice was so gentle and kind.

“I did.” She nodded against her phone. “Uh...I’m sorry. I don’t know why I called you. You were probably trying to go to bed or...something.”

“It’s quite alright. I am actually glad to hear from you.” Jacob’s voice was more relaxed now. “I was worried but I figured your father would be...hovering so I was going to stop by tomorrow.” He didn’t say anything negative about her father. He just held his tongue even though he could have said something like Walt had about him.

“He’s gone.” Cady admitted as she stared at her bathroom floor. She realized she wasn’t being too talkative but Jacob’s smooth voice calmed her nerves.

“He did not stay?” He asked in surprise. “I uh, figured he’d be standing guard.”

“Actually...I asked him to leave.” She sighed. “He was...being very unsupportive.”

“I see.” He paused. “Cady, I think I might know why you called.”

“...Why?” She held her breath. She honestly didn’t know why her mind went to Jacob to call. She could have called Henry.

“You do not want to be alone, which is very understandable. You have been through something traumatic and you sought out comfort from your father but...you came up short.” Jacob spoke matter of factly but with tenderness.

“I’m not trying to replace my dad with you, Jacob. That’s not how I feel about you.” She winced at the way that sounded.

“No. I do not believe you are either. But you are seeking comfort from someone. I take it your car is still at the office on the Rez?” Jacob questioned. Cady could hear him moving around.

“Uh...yeah. Mathias took me in his car to the station then Dad took me home. So.” She shrugged. “Why?”

“Well, even if you did have a car you are in no condition to drive. I will come to you.” Jacob told her with a tone of voice that left no room for argument, but Cady wasn’t easily put off arguing.

“Jacob, please. You don’t have to come all the way into town.” She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t want to put you out.”

“Nonsense. I am offering, Cady. You should not be alone right now, and you deserve to have someone comfort you.” Those words made Cady’s chest tighten. “I’m getting into the car. I will be at your door soon.”

“Okay. Uh, I’ll leave it unlocked.” Cady shrugged. It was already unlocked. Probably not a good idea all things considered.

“I’ll be there.” Jacob said again, like she was going to forget. Maybe he thought she didn’t believe him.

“Okay. Thank you, Jacob.” It was all she could say. What else was there? She was dragging this man out of his house late at night because she was upset. It felt so small. Unfair even to Jacob.

“You are welcome.” Jacob said softly before hanging up.

After ending the call to Jacob she sat there for a long moment then got up. She checked the door but it was unlocked. Someone needed to talk to her dad about how important locks are and how doors needed to be locked. Once she made sure Jacob could get in she found herself back in her bed, her legs under the covers and her knees to her chest.

It took Jacob some time to get to her place. Her little house was in Durant and he lived out by the Rez. Just as Cady was starting to get anxious all over again the front door opened. She tensed for a few seconds until she heard Jacob’s voice as he closed the front door and locked it.

“Cady?” Her whole body relaxed at hearing his voice.

“Back here.” She called out to him and pulled the blankets around her even more. She was nervous and she didn’t know why exactly. A few seconds later Jacob came into view in her doorway. He was still in his suit that he’d been wearing earlier when she saw him. She glanced at the clock with a frown. “Were you still at the Casino?”

“No, no.” Jacob shook his head and leaned against the door frame. He smiled a little at her.

“But you were still working? I didn’t pull you away from anything important, did I?” She sat up more, her knees going down into a criss-cross.

“Cady, you did not take me away from anything important but I still would have come had I been doing something important.” His smile was small but it conveyed understanding.

“Okay.” Cady wasn’t exactly sure what to say to that. She waved him further into the room. “You can come in.” Jacob nodded and walked into the room. He took a seat on the blue chair next to her bed. “I’m sorry I dragged you ou--”

“You didn’t drag me out here, Cady.” Jacob reassured. “I chose to come out here because I’m worried about you.”

“Right.” She cleared her throat and looked up at him. “What were you working on this late at night?”

“It doesn’t matter, Cady.” He removed his suit jacket and stood to hang it on the coat rack behind the chair.

“I’m just curious.” She bit her bottom lip.

“Well,” Jacob said as he sat back down. His legs crossed and he relaxed into the car. “I was speaking with Kevin Morris the last two hours since he left you at the station with your father.”

“Why?” Cady frowned.

“He is your lawyer. I wanted to go over his case for your self defense. Make sure that you would be fine legally.” He smiled gently at her. “After speaking with him I do not doubt you will not be charged. However, I am much more worried about your emotional state.”

“Wow.” Cady laughed a little. “Uh...I’m okay. I think. I don’t know.” She shook her head.

“Taking a life is a...powerful experience.” He told her honestly.

“You know something about taking life, Jacob?” She tried to play it off, be casual but she knew she didn’t come off that way.

“I do,” he said with a nod. “I did not quite miss the draft during the war, and like many young men at the time I saw….” He faltered a little, trying to find the right word. “What I saw is not important. However, I do know what it feels like to have to take a life.”

“I had no idea, Jacob. I didn’t realize.” She shook her head.

“Yes. I was one of the first called up in 1970. The first lottery draw had my number.” Jacob nodded slowly. “But this is not about me, Cady.”

“Right…” She trailed off and licked her lips. “I guess, I mean don’t get me wrong...I’m not at all okay with what I did. I know it was in self-defense but...that’s not what’s bothering me most.”

“Ah. Your father, right?” Jacob frowned.

“Yeah.” She nodded and looked at the bed spread. “He just...he blamed you. Basically said you put me in a bad situation knowing something like this would happen just to get at him. It’s...so exhausting. He’s so--” She cut herself off.

“You do believe I put you in this situation to intentionally hurt you?” Jacob was leaning forward now, something unreadable in his eyes as he looked her over.

“What?” Cady turned to look at him fully, one leg fell off the bed. “No! Jacob, if you hadn’t given me that gun then Asha and I would be dead. It’s thanks to you that I’m alive. I knew that working on the Rez would be...dangerous.”

“You don’t believe that I am using you to get at your father?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No.” She shook her head, tears welling up. “He’s my dad. I love him and I always will but…” She swallowed back the emotions in his throat. “I know what he says about you is wrong, Jacob. I don’t believe that you’re using me at all except to help people. It’s just…”

“You almost wish I was because you don’t want to believe your father could be wrong or deny you as he has without good reason.” Jacob finished.

“Jacob, I swear I don’t think you’re using me.” Cady felt her tears starting to slide down her face. “But I wish you were so I could justify what he’s doing.”

There was a small silence and then Jacob was moving. She looked up just as he came up to the bed. He sat down on the edge, next to her covered feet and reached out to take one hand. They stayed quiet for awhile with just their hands together. Once Cady had calmed down a little Jacob scooted forward and reached his free hand to her face and gently wiped away the tears with a handkerchief he had from his pocket.

“I wish I could offer you something in place of your father’s...actions.” Jacob spoke in a low voice as he wiped the last of her tears away. “I wish there was more I could do for you, Cady.”

He folded the little white cloth and put it back into his pocket. When he looked up he caught Cady’s eyes. They looked at each other for a long moment before Cady moved. She shifted her legs and put her hand on the side of his jaw, stroking her thumb gently over the little bit of stumble he had. They were close and Cady wanted nothing more than to lean in to kiss Jacob but fear gripped her.

“Cady…” again his voice carried so much concern and care.

“Jacob.” She said back, the edges of her emotional hurricane easing with him so close.

His eyes flickered over her mouth and very slowly she leaned in. She knew it had to be her. He wasn’t pulling away but he couldn’t lean in either. That would be ‘take advantage’ or something equally stupid. Her fingers slid further along his neck to the back of his head, his hair soft against her hand. Their eyes locked again for a moment and that was all Cady needed before he leaned in to place a gently kiss on his lips.

To Jacob’s credit he held back. His hand found hers again but he didn’t attempt to deepen the kiss. He let Cady do what she needed, but he did kiss her back. Their lips met gently and with hesitation of a young, new lover. Jacob gave her hand a reassuring squeeze which prompted her to pull him closer. Cady was seeking comfort, Jacob did not know if she would regret this in the morning or want him after this but right now he could offer her some support.

Things started to get heavier. Her lips moving against his in a more frantic manner. She had moved to be sitting up on her knees which gave her leverage in the kiss. Jacob’s other hand found her shoulder and moved up to the side of her neck. His thumb did the same to her jaw as she had done to his. He noted how soft her skin was and how she tasted. His tongue explored her mouth upon invitation and he defined the taste as simply ‘Cady.’ The more fervent she got the gentler he became.

Finally he pulled back but kept the closeness. Cady was breathing hard, mostly from emotion he knew. Their foreheads met and he shifted to wrap his arms around her while her arms went around his neck. That was when it all hit her. Jacob knew it was coming and he was prepared for it. As Cady broke he held her. She cried and pressed her face against his neck, gripping his shirt tightly as if he’d leave her like her father had. Jacob knew he wasn’t a substitute for Walt Longmire, but he knew the man’s rejection and absence were what drove Cady into his arms.

“It’s okay, Cady.” He said quietly. He muttered a few Cheyenne words of comfort and when Cady was done, when all the tears had been shed he offered her the same handkerchief that he used on her earlier.

“Thank you.” She spoke in a small, broken voice. She cleaned up her face as best she could with the soft cloth. “I’m s--”

“No.” Jacob put his hand back on the side of her neck and tipped her face up so she had to look at him. “You do not need to be sorry for this. You deserve to be able to show your grief, anxiety, and distress over this. I am so sorry it happened, but it is not your fault and your emotions are not a sin.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

“Thank you.” She choked out again and leaned into him a little. His arms went back around her and Cady just let herself be held for a few minutes. Slowly, reluctantly she pulled back. “I...need to go splash some water on my face. Even after wiping away the tears I feel…” She shrugged but Jacob understood and pulled back to allow her up.

She climbed off the bed and looked back at Jacob as she left the bedroom for the bathroom. When she came back he was sitting on the edge of the bed still but now facing out with both feet planted on the floor and his elbows resting on his knees. He almost looked like he was praying with his head bowed. Maybe he was, Cady wasn’t sure. When she stepped on the creaky board by accident he looked up and smiled that same concerned but kind smile.

“I hope you will not believe this to be...too forward but I thought perhaps I could say tonight. I don’t think being alone would be very good for you right now.” His offer was sincere. Empthy ever present in his voice. The way he spoke made Cady’s heart warm. She felt safe and cared for. “I would sleep in the guest room, of course.” He was attempting to be appropriate and Cady smiled at that.

“What would you say if I asked you to stay in here with me?” She asked, his teeth worrying her bottom lip in hopes that she wasn’t about to cross a line with him. Their kiss was a good indication of where they considered the line to be but still she didn’t want to lose him. Especially not tonight. He considered her for a moment.

“If it would make you feel more comfortable then I would agree.” Jacob looked at her and then back to the bed.

“I think I would sleep better...having you there.” She stepped a little closer to him then moved a little closer. “But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable either.”

“You are far from making me uncomfortable, Cady.” Jacob brushed her hair behind her ear when they were finally close enough to touch. “If you want me to stay in here then I will gladly to stay with you.”

She looked into his eyes and leaned in to kiss him again. Jacob was only slightly taller than her so when they kissed they were about even. Kissing while standing was a little different since Cady was used to guys being taller. Once she gained some balance though it was easier. His hands stayed on her waist while hers rested on his shoulders and played with his hair a little.

Jacob was being reserved, not letting the kiss become anything more than the gentle exploration of new territory. Cady was searching for something a little more. The adrenaline from the night, the emotions swirling around inside her all pushed her to need something more. She pressed herself against him and urged him into being faster, harder, more. It took a few tries before Jacob pulled back.

“Cady.” His voice was still soft but held an edge. Something warning in his tone and Cady felt bad. Maybe she had pushed too hard, wanted too much…

“Sorry.” She muttered. They were still pressed together and Cady laid a little kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“Am I going to have to ban that word for the night?” Again he tipped her face up to look at him, meeting her eyes. “I do not want you to do anything you will regret in the morning.”

“...You think…” Cady frowned as she looked him over. “You think I’d regret sleeping with you?”

“I think you’ve had a hard night and that rushing into bed with me could potentially end with regret. If this is more than comfort I do not want to rush head first into it.” Jacob stroked her jaw, his fingers pushing another lock of hair behind her ear. “You need sleep anyways.”

“Jacob, I wouldn’t--” Cady started but was cut off.

“If you wouldn’t regret it then that means there is more to this hand just needing someone close for the night. I would much rather out first time together but done in a manner where we could fully enjoy each other.” Jacob smiled and kissed her gently.

“That makes sense. Sorr--” She paused before the word got out there. “Okay. Um...then I guess our next step would be actual sleeping.”

“Yes. I think that’d be a good idea.” His voice was teasing now and Cady blushed just a little.

“Uh, so...I don’t suppose you have like something to sleep in with you because I don’t think I have anything you could wear to sleep in.” She looked away awkwardly as they started.

“Ah. Yes. I have a t-shirt on under this and I can sleep in my slacks.” He offered as he sat back in the blue chair and started taking off his shoes.

“That won’t be comfortable, Jacob.” She sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him. Once his shoes were off he stood and put them out of the way, then his socks were tucked into them.

“Then what would you suggest?” He asked and started to undo his tie. Cady’s eyes lingered on his fingers.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged and stood up. The tie came undone and she took it from him, hanging it on the coat rack with his blazer.

When his fingers came up to started unbuttoning she took over for him instead. It was oddly soothing. She carefully pushed the buttons out of the holes, knowing the shirt probably cost a lot and she didn’t want to pop off a button. Jacob’s hands were hanging at his sides as he watched her remove his button down. With hands steadier than they’d been all night Cady draped the shirt over the blue chair. She paused as an idea came to her.

Jacob was being modest. Not wanting to overstep some imaginary line that they were both dancing around and moving. She easily removed his belt and put it on the chair and all that was left was the slacks. Her hands were as sure as they had been when she called him earlier. She easily undid the button on the slacks then unzipped them. He looked down at her as she did that and he conceded. The slacks pooled around his ankles and he stepped out of them, Cady picked them up and draped them next to the shirt.

“You’ll be a lot more comfortable.” She smiled at him.

“Yes, I will.” Jacob nodded. He was in his white t-shirt and grey boxer briefs. “You’re staring.” It was true but he pointed it out just to see her get embarrassed. Her eyes got wide and her faced flushed a deep shade of red, her eyes fixed themselves on anything except Jacob.

“Wow. Okay. Um...I’d say ‘sorry’ but you banned that word and I’m kinda not sorry.” She smiled a little and Jacob smirked.

“At least you are not saying something like ‘for a man your age’.” He laughed and moved over to the bed.

“True. I could have made that a lot worse.” Cady took Jacob’s hand and slid into the bed.

“I do not mind if you stare.” Jacob told her as he climbed into the bed next to her. His arm instantly went around her waist and pulled her back against him so they were as close as possible. Her head pillowed on his chest and he kissed the top of her head.

“Now I’m just feeding your ego.” She teased and looked up at him, her fingers lacing together with the ones on her waist.

“A little.” He nodded. “But I think of it more as payback for the time I spent looking at you.”

“Y-You spend time looking at _me_?” She looked at him with disbelief.

“Yes. More than is strictly professional.” He nodded and his arm tightened just a little. “You are a very beautiful woman, but on top of that you are loving, kind, and passionate.”

“Seriously?” She smiled up at him. “I think you’ve got a crush on me, Jacob.”

“Oh? I have a crush?” He moved in closer, seeking out all the space between them and making it go away. He wanted to be as close to her as possible.

“Yup. Don’t worry. I’ve had one for awhile as well.” She told him softly. Her fingers squeezed his hand.

“On Matthias, right?” He joked and she rolled her eyes.

“Please.” She sobered up for a moment and got serious. “On you. Because you are a caring, loving, helpful man who wants to make a difference. That’s why I formed a crush on you, Jacob.”

“Hm.” He contemplated that. “Perhaps we can speak about this more in depth tomorrow over breakfast?”

“I’d like that.” She leaned up and kissed him gently. They grew quiet for a moment as they settled in to sleep. Just as Jacob was reaching for the lamp to switch it off Cady spoke again. “I know I’ve said it a few times but seriously, thank you for coming all this way...for caring about me.”

“I will always care about you, Cady.” His voice was smooth and gentle and carried the weight of the truth with them. “Let’s sleep. We will talk more in the morning.” He gave her another kiss and flipped off the light.

Cady rested against Jacob and started to drift off to sleep. She was exhausted from what happened but she stayed awake a few minutes thinking that she’d have nightmares if she went to sleep. Then Jacob’s hand squeezed her and the remainder of the safety blanket wrapped around her gave her some peace of mind as she drifted off to sleep.


End file.
